2009年1月17日星期六

It's all about finding back the past

When practicing live talk, some feeling started to come back to me. After junior years in high school, I cann't recall what exactly happened, but I started to avoid talking in public. I started to enjoy sitting in the middle of a class, being a watcher instead of one showing on the podium. Gradually, when standing in a crowd, I avoid standing in the front row. Psychologically speaking, there should be a turning point in my characteristic.
Well, but 7 years later, tonight, I rediscovered the fun of live talk: standing, talking about some international events or personal experience with a small notebook in hand. For a moment, I think I saw through the time tunnel, finding the girl who used to go up there, talking fast and fluently without anything in hand.
So the "me" has not faded away, instead, it hides itself deep inside of me, waiting to re-appear someday somewhere.
To know this is really comforting.

2009年1月12日星期一

Bump into my past

Never assume I would bump into my past this way. I saw a past me, painful and depress. Luckily when one and a half year have passed, I found myself and my life different.
Never assume I would re-start this blog either, but suddenly in this noon with beautiful sunshine in HongKong, I feel like writing something in English.
The death of Adolf Merckle stunned me. And that's the reason I feel the need to write. Weird huh? Yeah, I know.
The first time I saw the name, I thought about two people, both German. Adolf Hitler and the current German councelor(well, how to spell it..) who I only remember as Merckle. Then after a lot of painful digging into the meanings of "short-selling" and "hedge fund", I finally got the whole thing straight.
Why suicide? And why in such a way? Well, forgive my shallowness. The most striking thing among all those incidents is the way he committed suicide. Place himself on the train track and let the train running over him? How brutal..It reminds me of the glorious death of Japanese that they tear their belly open.
And what is my feeling? Well, I've told u I'm shallow. So first of all, brutal. Second, how couragous should he be to choose such a fierce way to end his life when there are hundreds of ways to die. Third, is there any cultural factor behind people's choice of suicide? Finally, be careful when running something as risky as speculation.